People-pleasers come in many forms. Some can’t resist saying no to people who ask for favors. Saying yes has become such a habit that it never even occurs to them to say no.
For others, people pleasing is about gaining acceptance. Their self-worth depends on other people’s approval and they’ll do just about anything to try and get it.
The vast majority of my psychotherapy clients who struggle with people-pleasing have confused pleasing people and kindness. They say things like, “I don’t want to be selfish,” or “I just want to be a good person.” Consequently, many of them get so caught up in doing things for other people that they lose sight of their values.
People-pleasing can be a serious problem for many people. And many of them don’t even realize they’re doing it.
Here are 10 signs you might be trying too hard to please everyone:
1. You feel responsible for how other people feel.
2. The thought of anyone being mad at you causes you to feel uncomfortable.
3. You pretend to agree with people because you don’t dare express a contrary opinion.
4. You apologize even when you don’t think you did anything wrong.
5. You go to great lengths to avoid conflict.
6. You don’t usually tell people when you’re feelings are hurt.
7. When someone asks you for a favor, you say yes even if you don’t really want to do it.
8. You put a lot of energy into trying to impress people.
9. You only feel good about yourself when other people praise you.
10. You often feel overscheduled and overburdened by all the things you have to do.
If any of the above statements sound familiar, there’s a good chance you spend too much time trying to please everyone.
The good news is, it’s a bad habit that can be broken. And when you let go of trying to please everyone, you’ll be free to reach your greatest potential.
Join me on Thursday 4/13 at 12PM ET (9AM PT) to talk about the number five thing mentally strong people don’t do—they don’t worry about pleasing everyone. It’s the fifth episode in the 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Audio Series.
I’ll share a few case studies from therapy office and we’ll take a deep dive into the strategies that will help you stop trying to please everyone.
* Strategies for saying no (even when people try to talk you into something)
* The one word science says you should use to avoid falling into the people-pleasing trap
* Steps for clarifying your values so you can live the kind of life you want even in the face of criticism
And I’ll be answering your questions about mental strength! To tune in, go to my Facebook page at noon ET. If the event hasn’t started yet, wait a few seconds and refresh your screen.
If you aren’t able to join us live, you can always watch the replay later. I’ll post it to my page after the event is over.