How to Change the Story You Tell Yourself with Psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb
#040 Meet Lori Gottlieb
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist and the author of the NY Times Bestselling book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone. She also writes a regular column for The Atlantic called “Dear Therapist.”
She recently launched a podcast with co-host Guy Winch. It’s called “Dear Therapists” and in each episode, she and Guy address a listener’s problem. Then, they follow up with the listener to learn what happened when they followed the advice.
Lori’s book gives readers a look at what it’s like to go to therapy. We get to follow several therapy clients over time and see how they change.
But we also get to learn what it was like for Lori to go to therapy after a breakup. She describes her own struggles and shows how talking to a therapist every week helped her.
I invited Lori on the show so she could talk more about her experiences as a therapist, as a therapy client, and as a podcast host.
Some of the things Lori and I talk about:
- How she found the courage to share her personal struggles in her book
- Some of the biggest misconceptions people have about therapy
- How talking to a therapist is different than talking to a friend
- The difference between pain and suffering
- Why you don’t necessarily need to talk about your childhood excessively in therapy
- How to make your emotional health a bigger priority in your life
- How to recognize when it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist
- The major differences Lori sees between what men and women tell her in the therapy office
- How to change the conversations you have with yourself and how that can help you in life
- How to begin recognizing the inaccuracies in the way you see yourself
Quotes:
“Sometimes we are the cause of our own difficulties. And when we can finally see that, we can make changes.”
“You can’t get through life without experiencing pain, but you don’t have to suffer so much.”
“You can’t just pretend that your feelings aren’t there because if you do your feelings get bigger. They come out in other ways; they come out with too much food or too much wine, or too much mindless scrolling through the internet or insomnia or in short temperedness.”
“Sometimes people have this misconception that they have to be really struggling in a very overt way to make that call a therapist. But we don’t do that with our physical health.”
“Self-compassion breeds compassion for others. So it’s a win-win for everybody.”
Links:
Visit Lori’s website – https://lorigottlieb.com/
Buy Lori’s book – Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
Watch Lori’s TED talk – How Changing Your Story Can Change Your Life
Listen to Lori’s podcast – Dear Therapists
Follow Lori on Instagram – LoriGottlieb_Author
Resources
For more information on what it’s like to see a therapist, check out Verywell Mind.