263 — How 15 Minutes of Solitude Can Change Your Life with Professor Robert Coplan

If you feel pressure to be productive or you get uncomfortable when you’re alone, this episode is for you. I’m talking to Dr. Robert Coplan, a developmental psychologist, college professor, leading researcher on solitude, and author of the new book The Joy of Solitude.
 
Some of the things we discuss are:
 

• The true definition of solitude
• Why alone time is actually the opposite of loneliness—and it’s essential for your well-being
• How the “deactivation effect” of solitude helps regulate your emotions and restore your energy
• The science behind how being alone can spark creativity and even make your relationships stronger
• The simple tech guidelines for solitude that can help you get the most out of your time alone
• What the famous 15-minute electric shock study really tells us about being alone
• How to build your “solitude muscles” with micro-moments of intentional alone time
• What to say when you need to set boundaries and request alone time without offending others
• How to embrace the Joy of Missing Out (JOMO) instead of the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
• Why it’s crucial to start building solitude skills in kids and how the benefits change with age

Key Takeaways:

• Solitude vs. Loneliness: Solitude is a chosen space for personal growth and recharging, whereas loneliness is an unwanted emotional state stemming from unmet social needs.
• Emotional Benefits of Solitude: Solitude helps calm intense emotions and can open the door to creativity.
• Effect on Relationships: Regular intentional solitude can improve social interactions and increase relationship satisfaction.
• Start Small: Just 15 minutes of daily solitude can begin to offer benefits for mental strength.