301 — Why Undersharing Is Holding You Back (And How to Fix It) With Harvard Professor Leslie John

What if the amount of information share—or don’t share—is affecting your life more than you think?
 
We live in a world where oversharing gets a bad rap, but undersharing can be just as problematic. Striking the right balance between too much information (TMI) and too little information (TLI) is a skill that can improve your relationships and even help you grow mentally stronger.
 
My guest today is Leslie John, a behavioral scientist, Harvard Business School professor, and author of the new book Revealing. Leslie shares her insights on the science and art of sharing, and how revealing just a little more can strengthen your connections and mental health.
 
Some of the things we discuss in this episode include:
 

• Why undersharing might be a bigger problem than oversharing.
• The surprising benefits of taking small social risks and sharing more.
• How to identify opportunities to share meaningfully without crossing into TMI territory.
• The role of emotional literacy in understanding and communicating your feelings.
• Why silence isn’t always the safest option—and how it can hold you back.
• How to handle the tension of “Should I speak up or stay silent?”
• Why we’re more likely to share secrets with strangers than close friends.
• The surprising power of sharing your feelings—even at work.
• How to recover when you feel like you’ve shared too much.
• Why revealing something personal can actually make people like you more.

 
Key Takeaways
 

• Strike a balance between TMI and TLI to build personal and professional relationships.
• Recognize sharing opportunities and their potential to create deeper connections.
• Undersharing can prevent meaningful relationships from developing.
• Employ tools like the emotions wheel to better identify and communicate personal feelings.
• Take small steps in practicing self-disclosure with trusted individuals to improve emotional literacy and intimacy.