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243 — What Are You Avoiding? How to Stop Running and Start Living with Dr. Robyn Walser

September 1, 2025
Mentally Stronger Dr Robyn Walser Amy Morin

If you’ve ever sidestepped a tough conversation, ignored a problem, or avoided something that scares you, this episode is for you.
 
Avoidance and anxiety often go hand-on-hand. Avoiding a problem helps you feel better right now, but it leads to long-term problems. It also makes anxiety worse in the long run.
 
Today I’m joined by Dr. Robin Walser, clinical psychologist and expert in acceptance and commitment therapy. Together, we explore why we avoid, how it impacts our mental health, and—most importantly—how to break free from the avoidance cycle.
 
Some of the things we talk about are:
 

  • Why avoidance feels good in the short term but keeps you stuck in the long run
  • How avoidance shrinks your life and disconnects you from the things that matter most to you
  • The surprising ways avoidance is reinforced—and how to break the cycle
  • How to face uncomfortable emotions without feeling overwhelmed
  • Why connecting with your values can help you face the things you’re trying to avoid
  • How to take small steps toward the things you’ve been avoiding
  • The link between facing your discomfort and mental strength

 

Key Takeaways:

 

  • Avoidance often provides short-term relief but can lead to long-term life constraints and disconnection from meaningful pursuits.
  • Aligning actions with your personal values increases motivation when confronting uncomfortable emotions or situations.
  • Breaking challenges into smaller, manageable steps can make overcoming avoidance more achievable.
  • Recognizing avoidance patterns, such as procrastination and withdrawal, is crucial in addressing them effectively.
  • Confronting emotions through acceptance and observation fosters resilience and psychological flexibility.

Notable Quotes:

"Avoidance is a natural response to discomfort…but over time, it can shrink our lives." - Dr. Robyn Walser

"I think of suffering as the fight against yourself, not as the things that you're experiencing." - Dr. Robyn Walser

"Would you be willing to feel the pain in the service of having something meaningful?" - Dr. Robyn Walser

"It's about being present to your emotional experience...that is what makes us mentally stronger." - Dr. Robyn Walser

"Sometimes the very emotional thing that you're running from has a message for you." - Dr. Robyn Walser

Timestamp Summary

0:00 Overcoming Avoidance to Build Mental Strength

2:23 Understanding Avoidance of Emotional Pain and Trauma

4:29 Embracing Emotional Experiences Through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

9:43 How to Overcome Fear and Building Resilience

18:43 How to Face Discomfort for Personal Growth and Authentic Living

24:52 How to Recognize Recognize Avoidance in Your Life

28:16 Why Vulnerability Is Essential for Mental Strength

34:16 How to Overcome Avoidance by Connecting With Values

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