283 — How to Stop Feeling Invisible and Start Feeling Like You Matter with Journalist Jennifer Wallace

Do you ever feel like you don’t have a reason to get out of bed? Or maybe you feel lonely, even when you’re in a room full of people? If you’ve ever wondered what it truly means to feel valued and important, this episode is for you.
 
My guest is Jennifer Wallace, a journalist and the author of Mattering. She explains that mattering is a fundamental human need that comes right after food and shelter. When we feel like we matter, we thrive. But when that need goes unmet, we can become anxious, depressed, or angry. Fortunately, we can all do things that remind us that we matter.
 
Some of the things we discuss are:
 

• The difference between mattering, belonging, and purpose
• Why being needed isn’t the same as mattering
• How to feel like you matter without chasing achievement and recognition
• The one question to ask yourself every morning to prove to yourself that you matter
• How to rebuild your sense of mattering after a major life transition like a divorce, job loss, or relocation
• A simple formula for finding a sense of mattering by adding value to the world
• How to handle people who act out because they feel like they don’t matter

Key Takeaways:

• Mattering Explained: Mattering is feeling that you are valued and have opportunities to contribute meaningfully. It’s a fundamental human need next to food and shelter.
• Ingredients of Mattering: Feeling significant, appreciated, invested in, and depended on are crucial components for feeling like you matter.
• Self-Mattering Is Essential: Prioritize your personal needs to improve self-worth and mental strength.
• Impact of Mattering in Different Life Areas: It varies across domains like home, work, and social settings, and can shift during life transitions.
• Build It Through Action: Enhance your sense of mattering by engaging in actions that aid others and acknowledging the significance of others in small ways.