330 — The Real Reason Your Coping Skills Aren't Helping (It's Not You)

Want more plays to help you stay mentally strong? Pick up a copy of  ⁠⁠The Mental Strength Playbook⁠⁠.
 
Have you ever tried a mental strength strategy that everyone swears by, and it didn’t work for you? Maybe you tried to meditate in the middle of a panic attack and felt worse, or started a gratitude journal while your life was falling apart and just ended up feeling guilty about your list.
 
The same coping skills that saves you in one moment can backfire in another. Fortunately, you can sharpen your ability to reach for the right coping skill at the right time once you know how.
 
Some of the things I talk about are:
 

• Why the strategy that “doesn’t work for you” might just be the right tool used at the wrong time.
• The friend whose gratitude journal, packed weekend schedule, and constant busyness looked like strength from the outside—but were actually keeping her stuck.
• How three plays we talk about all the time on this show can backfire, and the exact moments when each one turns from helpful to harmful.
• Why “What’s the best mental health technique?” is the wrong question—and the better one to ask instead.
• How to run the same problem through your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions so you always have more than one way in.
• The three-step Pause, Pick, Play process for choosing the right play in the moment—even when your usual go-to isn’t working.

Key Takeaways:

• Mental strength strategies aren’t one-size-fits-all. They need to be applied at the right time for effectiveness.
• Identify whether your challenge is rooted in thoughts, emotions, or actions to choose your strategy.
• Use the three P’s—Pause, Pick, and Play—to make decisions about which mental strength technique to apply.
• Avoidance in tackling emotional or situational issues can masquerade as mental strength but might be counterproductive.
• Having a mental strength playbook can provide a menu of options to tackle life’s challenges strategically.