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36 – How to Embrace Change and Grow Stronger in the Face of Challenges with Best-Selling Author Brad Stulberg

September 19, 2023

In this Friday Fix episode, Amy Morin discusses the importance of focusing on the things that are within our control and letting go of worry about things that are beyond our control.

She explains that excessive worry can drain our time and energy, leading to increased anxiety. However, by shifting our focus to what we can control, we empower ourselves to create positive change.

Amy provides strategies for identifying what is within our control, solving problems rather than dwelling on them, and creating “if then” plans to deal with catastrophic thoughts. These strategies can help reduce stress and improve mental strength.

 

Key Takeaways:

  • Excessive worry about things beyond our control can lead to increased anxiety and interfere with daily life.
  • It is important to identify what is within our control and focus our energy on those things.
  • Developing an internal locus of control, where we believe we can make things happen in life, can empower us to take action and succeed.
  • Problem-focused thoughts are focused on dwelling on the problem, while solution-focused thoughts are focused on solving the problem.
  • Creating “if then” plans can help reduce stress and provide a clear course of action when faced with situations beyond our control.

Notable Quotes:

“When you find yourself thinking about something for a while and feeling anxious, ask yourself, what’s within my control right now?” – Amy Morin

“Focus on controlling your response when you can’t control the situation.” – Amy Morin

“When people develop an if then plan, their stress gets reduced almost immediately.” – Amy Morin

Timestamp Summary

0:00:00 The concept of worrying about things out of our control

0:01:04 The negative effects of excessive worrying and how it interferes with daily life

0:02:08 Understanding the concept of locus of control and how it affects our perception of control

0:04:17 Recognizing that most things are neither completely within or out of our control

0:05:14 An example of how to identify something that is within your control

0:06:09 Focusing on what is within our control and shifting from problem thoughts to solution thoughts

0:07:23 Understanding control freaks and the importance of managing our own distress

0:07:56 Using “if then” plans to reduce distress and create a plan for responding to situations out of our control

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