251 — How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser With Psychotherapist Meg Josephson

Do you spend a lot of time worrying about whether someone is mad at you? Do you avoid sharing your opinion because you don’t want to be disliked? If so, you might be engaging in fawning—a survival response that drives people-pleasing behavior.
 
I’m joined by Meg Josephson, psychotherapist and bestselling author of Are You Mad at Me?. Together, we explore the roots of fawning, how it impacts our lives, and the steps you can take to stop worrying about what others think and start living for yourself.
 
Some of the things we talk about are:
 

• What fawning is and how it differs from people-pleasing.
• Why fawning is a survival response that has likely protected you in the past.
• The signs you might be fawning.
• The dangers of becoming a people-pleaser.
• Why relationships are the key to healing from fawning.
• How to reconnect with your own needs.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding Fawning: Fawning is a threat response aimed at securing safety by pleasing others.
• Recognize and Pause: Take a minute to think about your needs before agreeing to everything.
• Healing in Relationships: In order to heal from fawning, you need safe, supportive relationships. 
• Navigating Shame and Guilt: By reframing shame and guilt as protective defense mechanisms, you can show yourself more compassion.
• Ongoing Growth: Mental strength involves recognizing and accepting uncomfortable emotions, working towards self-trust and emotional resilience.