101 — 6 Strategies That Will Help You Work Through Grief so You Can Heal the Pain with Psychotherapist Meghan Jarvis
Although everyone experiences grief sometimes, no one talks about how to grieve. Not knowing what to do when you’re experiencing serious emotional pain can compound the hurt. And if you’re not careful, you might unknowingly do things that worsen the pain.
Fortunately, Meghan Jarvis has studied the concrete strategies that heal. She’s a psychotherapist who, after losing both of her parents, realized that the information about grief is inadequate. She’s since written a book, launched a podcast, and made it her mission to help people learn how to grieve. Some of the things she shares today are the misconceptions about grief, the things that worsen the pain, and the concrete steps you can take to work through grief after your loss.
Key Takeaways:
- Grief affects not only emotions but also 12 physical symptom systems in the body.
- The grief mentor method offers a personalized approach to managing grief through actionable strategies.
- Recognizing when grief symptoms are worsening and seeking professional help is crucial.
- Support for grievers should be non-judgmental, and helpers should have their own support systems.
- Engaging in rituals can be a powerful tool in the grieving process to honor loved ones.
Notable Quotes:
- “Grief should move. It should shift. It should be a thing that comes and goes and flows in and out of you.”
- “We grieve with our bodies because we do, and focus on just, we’re going to personalize it the same way you would an exercise class or learning how to sing.”
- “Grief is not depression. The symptoms are similar, but they’re not the same, and they’re not treated the same.”
- “Is it hard for you or is it bad for you?… Are you managing your hard with this and is it a temporary thing that’s okay? Or are you doing something that might be bad for you?”
Timestamp | Summary |
0:02:10 | Introduction to Megan Jarvis and her journey |
0:03:03 | Meghan’s childhood loss and its impact on her |
0:04:16 | Meghan’s career as a therapist and her personal background |
0:07:17 | Meghan’s experience with her father’s terminal illness |
0:09:48 | Meghan’s sudden loss of her mother and the impact on her mental health |
0:10:30 | Meghan checks herself into an inpatient facility for help |
0:11:29 | Megan gains a new understanding of grief and its impact |
0:11:09 | Understanding grief from personal experience and professional knowledge. |
0:12:02 | The limitations of textbook knowledge in the face of personal grief. |
0:12:08 | The importance of seeking help and support for grief symptoms. |
0:12:52 | Recognizing the need for treatment and support early on in the grieving process. |
0:13:51 | Signs that indicate the need for professional treatment and more intensive therapy. |
0:15:39 | The physical symptoms and impact of grief on the body. |
0:17:23 | Differentiating between normal grief symptoms and symptoms that disrupt daily life. |
0:18:46 | Seeking professional help if symptoms worsen over time. |
0:20:11 | The Grief Mentor Method for self-guided grief support. |
0:21:57 | Mindfulness: Going into the body to find energy |
0:22:38 | Energy: Dealing with high anxiety or depression |
0:23:16 | Nourishment: Physical and emotional nourishment |
0:24:06 | Story: Creating a narrative and communicating needs |
0:25:42 | Outside: Getting outside and finding new support |
0:26:13 | Ritual and Rest: Honoring and integrating the loss |
0:27:25 | Using the Grief Mentor Method as a daily structure |
0:28:32 | The problem with the ‘stages of grief’ |
0:30:52 | Moving forward and creating a new path |
0:31:52 | Teaching grief and sex |
0:32:13 | Impact of grief on the body |
0:33:09 | Feeling crazy after loss |
0:34:00 | Strange thoughts in grief |
0:34:48 | Amy’s experience with strange thoughts |
0:35:11 | Role of amygdala in grief |
0:36:32 | Vagus nerve and dysregulation in grief |
0:37:26 | Shame and guilt over strange thoughts |
0:38:40 | Brain’s adaptive response to grief |
0:40:36 | Wisdom in avoiding certain activities during grief |
0:42:32 | Difficulty with simple tasks due to being outside the window of tolerance. |
0:43:27 | Using the “hard vs. bad” question to assess coping mechanisms. |
0:44:27 | Process addictions and their potential harm during grief. |
0:46:00 | Recognizing past struggles and their potential reemergence during grief. |
0:49:39 | Why different coping methods work for different people. |
0:51:16 | Supporting someone who is grieving and recognizing your role as a supporter. |
0:52:23 | The question you should ask someone else who is grieving. |
0:56:26 | How to find support when supporting a griever. |
0:57:57 | Get outside and find support outside of your usual network. |
1:00:28 | Establish rituals to honor your loved one and adapt to a new life. |
1:01:23 | Finding ways to honor a loved one in the healing process. |
1:01:48 | Amy’s personal experience of honoring her late husband’s birthday. |
1:03:17 | Amy Morin encourages sharing the podcast with others. |
Links & Resources
Grief Is My Side Hustle Podcast
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