117 — Overcome the Fear of Speaking Up with Author Elaine Lin Hering
Whether you want to ask your ride share driver to adjust the temperature in the car or you want to say no to an invitation without sounding rude, it’s tough to speak up sometimes.
Fortunately, Elaine Lin Hering has some great guidance that can empower you to use your voice. Elaine is a communication skills expert and the author of Unlearning Silence. Some of the things she talks about are why we struggle to speak, strategies for finding the best words, and how to find the courage to get your needs met.
Key Takeaways:
- Identify the Root Causes of Silence: Understand the childhood and societal factors that teach us to stay silent.
- Practice Speaking Up: Develop practical scripts and small everyday experiments to start speaking up more often.
- Anticipate Resistance: Learn to expect and effectively manage pushback when you voice your opinions or concerns.
- Effective Communication Strategies: Use phrases like “I see things differently” or “From where I sit” to express differing views respectfully.
- Create Safe Spaces: Foster environments where others feel comfortable sharing their honest thoughts and needs.
Notable Quotes:
- “Silence is when there’s not enough space for my thoughts, my perspectives, my priorities, because someone else’s thoughts have sucked all the energy out.” – Elaine Lin Hering
- “What is obvious to you often is profound to someone else.” – Elaine Lin Hering
- “Unlearning silence is such a team sport, not an individual sport, because we each have power to either increase or decrease the likelihood someone shares.” – Elaine Lin Hering
Timestamp | Summary |
0:00 | Unlearning Silence and Finding Your Voice |
6:40 | Unlearning Silence and Encouraging Authentic Communication |
15:08 | The Struggle of Asking for Simple Requests in Social Situations |
18:24 | Navigating Communication Styles and Cultural Differences |
19:49 | Strategies for Speaking Up and Embracing Resistance in the Workplace |
25:13 | Navigating Complex Family Dynamics and Open Communication |
30:47 | Tailoring Communication Styles to Individual Preferences |
36:42 | Empowering Voices: Overcoming Barriers to Effective Communication |
40:23 | The Power of Low-Risk Experiments in Everyday Interactions |
41:41 | Strategies for Speaking Up and Overcoming Silence |
Links & Resources
Instagram — @elainelinhering
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